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In the past few years we have found the following to be true:
1] Not all men who wish to write to the Filipina are "nice guys" use caution when writing men from other countries. Some use the internet and mail to find young girls to take advantage of. If a man wants to come and visit you in the Philippines always have family members close at hand until you find out if the man is sincere and what his intentions are some men are just looking for a servant they can sleep with so choose carefully. Use of email is better as you can get more and faster info on the guy and get to know him better. Be very careful and any man who has been divorced more the 2 times.
1a] Some Filipina use their pen pals as a way to get to the states and then go TNT [ underground ] not understanding the amount of Trouble they can get in. See #7 and many write to over 20 guys getting money from each with no intention of ever really doing fiancée visa, they are just in it to get money from men. Men be smart and do not send money to any girl other then $5-10 for internet use.
2] If you do travel to the mans home country with the idea of marriage be advised that it does not always work out. Many times a man will not tell the truth about his past [ many ex-wives and children ] If you think that the visa process will find out about such things you are mistaken. The new IMBRA ACT of 2005 will help some as the USCIS is running background checks on all K visa applicants but a smart man can get around that. If we do your visa work we will give you all the information we have on him and all the forms and info gathered will be sent to you on a CD. You can read his divorces and see who was the "bad one" in the marriage [ at least some idea ]. Aug. 2007 the new IMBRA Act will advise you at time of interview of mans past marriages and any arrests for abuse or drinking drug use.
3] Many times the man will not let you send Money home nor will he let you work so you will not have your "own" money, you will be at the mercy of the man. Be sure you both work out any "family support monies " that may be needed for your Philippine family before he leaves the Philippines. This seems to be one of the biggest after marriage problems we have seen over the past 7+ years. The Filipina's think all Americans have $100 bills growing on trees in our yards, this is not true, money is hard to come by here as it is in the Philippines and living costs in the States are much higher then most Filipina's think.
4] Foods that you normally eat are not widely available in many US cities so you will have to learn how to eat American foods & many American men will not let you cook dried fish in the home.
5] Some men will not let you be free to go to Church as you like, make certain he understands your needs before you depart the Philippines & marry some guy who will not let you go to Church. A good way to take care of this is like we do. My wife is a Catholic and I a Methodist, we go to the Catholic Church on Sat. night and my Church on Sunday morning.
6] If you have no family in the States you are at the mercy of the man you are going to live with. It is not easy to get help from agencies in the States when you are a stranger in a strange land. .
7] If you travel on a "Fiancée Visa" to the US you must marry the man listed on the Visa with in 90 days of your entry, you can not marry some one else and expect to stay. If the man does not marry you and you over stay the 90 days, you can and will be deported and a re-entry ban of up to 3-10 years will be placed on you. The Fiancée Visa is impossible to change to another visa.
8] For your own safety be sure to have a phone number of some one in the States that you can call on just in case things turn out bad, if we do your visa work you will have phone numbers to call for help.
9] If you decide to go with the Fiancée visa do not use you own money for expenses, if the guy does not pay for your costs now do you really think he will take good care of you later? Expect him to support you while you are going through this process but do not quit any job you have in the Philippines until very late in the process as there is no positive way of knowing if the visa will be issued if at all. The process will take from 4-9 months to complete.
10] Do take the CFO course serious as your government is attempting to tell you of all the possible dangers you can face.
11] We at FV hope you use our site as intended, we offer free pen pal and email listing to all who contact us. We make our money by our visa services for couples that have been in contract with each other for more then 3 months, we will not suggest nor will we do any "match making ", as this is not why we operate this site. We started this site to help others as its owners went through the pen pal process years ago and found out it can be dangerous to both involved in the process, we hope by operating in the open and in an honest way we can keep the Filipina safe from harm. We will try to answer all e-mails as soon as possible, we are not a legal service nor do we offer legal advice. We offer visa help but only as an interactive support in helping you through the process using the information available to all on the internet from the various government sites.